letting it all go
On the journey I was on to find myself I learned some surprising, shocking and often alarming things about the baggage I had been carrying around all my life.
During the early EFT workshops, we were encouraged to identify situations where we got angry or upset and I could think of hundreds. And a huge number of times it was an issue of me not being in control! I was a true control freak, but I didn’t see myself as one. It was a breakthrough for me the day I saw that trying to control people or situations had merely caused me anxiety, bitterness and frustration, because the only person I can control is myself.
Ignoring my own needs, I had wasted a huge amount of energy trying to change other peoples’ minds, their life-styles and even their beliefs, but it had got me absolutely nowhere and only left me feeling useless.
In fact, putting my self into losing situations made me feel like a victim and eventually made me ill. Believing that nobody understood me had made me feel angry, frustrated, resentful, worthless – the list of negative emotions had grown and grown, just like the lumps in my breast.
I learned to stop looking for power in all the wrong places, pushing my point of view on to folk who were not interested and were so set in their ways that they would probably never change. Trying to organise the lives of others meant I was putting off thinking about my own affairs. I hid my neediness by making myself look useful and feel helpful.
I had to learn to let go and just be me.
Here is a lighthearted quiz that I found in a women’s magazine.
are you a control freak?
- You think you know what’s best for others (your way)
- You make lists for everything in your life.
- You would rather drive than be driven
- As much as possible, you need to do everything yourself
- Other people’s messes really bother you
- You rarely think that you’re wrong
- You don’t like people touching your things
- You like to know where your partner is at all times
- You tend to interrupt people a lot
- You don’t like taking risks
- It’s difficult for you to trust anyone
- You don’t take it lightly when people disagree with you
I found I could tick nearly every one of those boxes, and facing up to the fact that I was a serious control freak was not easy! But oh, what a feeling of relief when I accepted that the world would carry on perfectly well around me and I didn’t have to do a thing! So, if you answered “yes” to even a few of these questions it is time to stand back and just BE!
next: emotional freedom